Bad Matchmaking Thread

60718024 - The last few games after the rank increase were terrible. For example, this game 60718024, a player on Vindicta openly using cheats (aiming). This person has a 90% win rate on their character, and their account has no more than 40 games.
 

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I genuinely do not understand what is happening at the moment. I recently played a match as a premade group of two, one Emissary like myself and one Arcanist, and we were matched with two Initiates and a FIRST TIME player (drifter look at the screenshot).

What is going on with this matchmaking? The skill disparity in this lobby was extreme, and it was not an enjoyable experience for anyone involved. Matches like this are neither competitive nor fair.

Please take a closer look at the current matchmaking system PLEASE

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  1. 60390951
  2. 59776662
  3. 59824810
 
Match id: 60600128
haze full of cheats, aim, autoparry etc
(first time at here, a bit nervous)

Every Valve game is like this my brother. Expect cheaters, smurfs, account buyers/sellers, griefers, etc in ever lobby. Accounts are free and Valve does not punish cheating. You can report cheaters but there's about a 1% chance they get banned.

Even in the rare cases of bans they just make a new account and go again.
 
match ID: 60785176

I am playing with players who aren't willing to take the match seriously (even though I have the extra competitive setting turned on) this is really frustrating. two players on my team were playing their first game ever, and one of them left the game. I had the most kills in the lobby and did 104k damage and carried some horrible players to a win they didn't deserve, down a teammate. I am finding it hard to climb to the rank I deserve when nearly every game someone on my team leaves the match, and most games 1 if not multiple of my teammates go 0 kills 10+ deaths. my mina and celeste were playing their first game ever (other teammate said they were coaching them and it was indeed their first ever match) *see attachment... players should have to complete a tutorial and play at least 1 game against bots before they are allowed to queue for 6v6 deadlock
 

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60779040 - Other team blew us out by 70k souls in a 23 minute game, crushed every lane across the board, wasn't even remotely close
60787133 - Got matched with the exact same teammates, who were just as terrible as the game before, and we once again got crushed
60797096 - Other team had a DC in the first few minutes, still dominated, despite it being a 5v6

And those aren't even outliers, since I started playing this game a couple of weeks ago, matches are consistently extremely one-sided. I know I'm not very good yet, but the fact that I've won only 16 of 55 games(despite a background in both mobas and hero shooters) and still I'm getting into matches where me and my friends are getting absolutely curbstomped is just not acceptable.

The game is so fun, but the matchmaking is so atrociously bad that it makes me question what I'm even doing when I queue back up. Fixing this has to be the Number 1 priority for the devs going forward, full stop, no exceptions. It's genuinely that bad. Why am I(Seeker IV) ending up in Arcanist 1 lobbies??? It doesn't make any sense.
 
60808699

I'm high Phantom, and there are self-reported emissary / ritualist players in an Oracle defined game. 100k stomps @ 30 minutes should not be happening, you guys can't just put 2 phantoms, 2 oracles, 2 lower ranks on each time and say it's balanced, that's not how it works.
 
MatchID: 60807426

Just when I was beginning to think I was getting good teammates. I get a jungle bot team.

Abrams biggest soul lead never put it to use because he spent 90% of the game in the jungle.

I was the only one who pushed walkers. I literally took all 3 by myself. I have no fucking clue what my teammates are doing. Honestly.

We made a little comeback at the end and Abrams baits me into a fight and runs away and I die and look at the map and Seven is in the bottom left corner of the map jungling when our throne is in stage 2 and its do or die.

No clue what these players are doing or how they got their rank up but if it was dota they would be herald skill level based on how they play the map and their game sense.

But once again I feel like the jungle is the problem. It's like a band-aid. Its like sucking on their mommy's titty for milk. When they don't know what to do they go to mommy to suck on her titty for milk (Jungle). At the expense of their team. Someone has to pick up the slack. Any experience dota player knows this. You cant just sit in the jungle for 40 minutes. But somehow there's players in Emissary who do just that. Jungle needs to be reimagined. Or metrics switched up because these players that afk in jungle are slipping through the cracks. Its like the other players know how to play somehow and mine don't. No concept of split pushing, map awareness. I dont think they even look at their map at all. They are playing single player first person shooter with an xbox controller. That ball you get from jungling should be placed over their head and the bigger it gets it starts wailing like a siren and police lights start going off and if they continue in jungle the game ends and their computer blows up. Put a giant titty shrine in jungle so players can go the shrine and suck the giant titty for double jungle souls for 5 minutes. Every 5 minutes they hit the titty timing and suck the titty for double jungle souls and their teammates put their dick in cock and ball torture device.

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60821405
Explain how this is good.
Just 1 person absolutely stomping the lobby, how can this be fun?

60830848
Immediate next match absolute stomp the other way??
 
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60823035
Yoshi, you did it again. You somehow managed to throw a fucking ascendant player into low arcon/emissary lobby. Not only did you make this game an absolute fucking piss missile to play and one of the worst gameplay experiences for me, again, within the last week, but you also seemed to fuck over matchmaking even worse with the most recent "hidden" patches you did. I don't know what you're doing, but whatever it is that you are doing, it's making it fucking worse. Fix the fucking matchmaking. You threw an ascendant Gray Talon and High Emissary Dynamo laning against an ALCHEMIST VENATOR and A LOW ARCON POCKET WHO HASN'T PLAYED POCKET IN THE LAST 7 MONTHS. This is awful fucking matchmaking. Fix it before I find out who these people are irl and force them to get a job and take a shower.
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