[Hero] A WW1 French soldier who commands the dead

[Fab]

I had this entire concept fully written about six months ago, but I got busy and stopped halfway through creating this presentation document.
Side note: I'm currently looking for a job, and my dream position would be to contribute to the development of this project, regardless of the role. (A man can dream.)



Thank you so much for reading. I know it's a bit wordy, but I took this passion project quite seriously.

 

[thecockshitter]

favourite hero concept of all time, i love it

 

[ExistingExpert]

Amazing concept, I love the aesthetic of a WW1 soldier commanding a ghost legion of his former battalion through sheer "rizz" alone. Abilities sound fine, although a bit weak perhaps? Charge and In position seem fine, but a CC explosion with a long cooldown that is telegraphed for 2 seconds which also applies slowing hex and silence to you, while repositioning you into what could be the middle of the enemy team sounds awful in a game with so much mobility, especially considering the fact that you don't have any hard CC apart from this ability which can guarantee a hit.

Moving to the lore, my only feedback would be that the motive for Le Frère to participate in the maelstrom is missing. Every character in deadlock has a reason why they are participating in the ritual and seeking the patron's favor, but it is lacking here. Is it just because someone hired them to do it? This worked with Mirage because of his unwavering loyalty to the Djinn but it would be a weak reason here.
Overall, I think that a little more time in the oven to work out these things would make this concept a perfect, fully fleshed out deadlock hero (also, remember me when you get hired by valve!).

 

[Nuggomed]

Amazing concept, I love the aesthetic of a WW1 soldier commanding a ghost legion of his former battalion through sheer "rizz" alone. Abilities sound fine, although a bit weak perhaps? Charge and In position seem fine, but a CC explosion with a long cooldown that is telegraphed for 2 seconds which also applies slowing hex and silence to you, while repositioning you into what could be the middle of the enemy team sounds awful in a game with so much mobility, especially considering the fact that you don't have any hard CC apart from this ability which can guarantee a hit.

Moving to the lore, my only feedback would be that the motive for Le Frère to participate in the maelstrom is missing. Every character in deadlock has a reason why they are participating in the ritual and seeking the patron's favor, but it is lacking here. Is it just because someone hired them to do it? This worked with Mirage because of his unwavering loyalty to the Djinn but it would be a weak reason here.
Overall, I think that a little more time in the oven to work out these things would make this concept a perfect, fully fleshed out deadlock hero (also, remember me when you get hired by valve!).

I definitely agree that rest basically stunning you for taking an aggressive position seems very counter-productive, it works for fury trance because you can activate it whenever and usually only use it to get a large burst of damage on a target before dipping out. I would suggest removing the self silence and no movement abilities, but otherwise I think its fine. Also, if the soldiers are super weak then I feel like they need a decently low cooldown since its supposed to be his main form of DPS, having all your soldiers go down by them getting shot by just a few bullets feels lame, especially since mcginnis turrets still take a little bit of effort to take down. Overall the concept is amazing though!

 

[Fab]

I really appreciate the feedback I got here and on reddit. It gives food for thought. Just to explain some of my initial reasoning regarding the Rest ability and the soldiers' relative weaknesses:
- I was worried the Rest teleport could be heavily abused and stacked with other items, which could turn the character into a highly mobile hero. One who could hit hard, place "traps" (his ghost soldiers), and be impossible to catch. 2 seconds seems longer on paper than in reality. Of course, it's trickier to use in a teamfight, but you can imagine fun combos: Charge into Rest (on a charging soldier).
- I was also worried about the relative strength of the ghost soldiers. I wanted them to hit hard enough and focus on punishing careless "intruders". And since the character's main DPS relies on his soldiers, they should be activated very often. Therefore, I didn't want to make them a source of frustration for opponents. During the laning phase, I think it could feel like one side is playing Duck Hunt, while the other is trying to mind-game with the soldiers' positions. Outside of face-to-face confrontations, they’re there to watch, punish or serve as recon tools.

One tiny thing that I forgot to clarify on the documents (but perhaps obvious enough): "Press M1" makes them stand up to attempt a shot at a designated target.